Life is not only the wind, but also the years passing by.
It’s a deep winter, and the howling wind seems to have been blowing all the trees and villages askew. I got up and went to a border town again. There’s nothing special about it. I just looked at the map the night before and suddenly thought about going there. I checked my itinerary. This time it’s inconvenient. I need to take the train first and then transfer to the bus, so I didn’t sleep a wink to catch the earliest train.
In winter in the north, it dawns late. It’s 6: 30 when the train moves, but it’s still dark. The stars are incredibly bright in the middle of the night. There are very few people in the train with lights on, which makes it seem deserted. This coldness is the real physical feeling. I found a window seat, pulled the curtains as far as possible to keep out the cold and get close to my feet. The heating was still hot, and it was steaming for a while. It didn’t smell good, so I kept on my face and took a nap at the table.
The most annoying thing about sleeping on the train is to check the tickets. It is a kind of distrust between the workers of the Ministry of Railways. I was awakened from sleep and handed the tickets impatiently to the passengers. A deeper chill hit my back. I regret not adding an extra sweater.
There is a gap between the two curtains, and you can see the trees flying backwards and the distant mountains have a trace of outline. The nearsighted person who forgot to wear glasses tried to narrow his eyes and seemed to recognize the acquaintances in front of him.
After the sky is bright, the carriages are getting noisy, and people are pouring in from the road for no reason. The temperature of the carriages is also rising gradually. After a while, it will definitely be a little hot and dry. The passengers are moving back and forth so fast that they may not be able to hear clearly. This is an outdated and increasingly rare green leather train and railway line. The slowest speed is crawling in the snow. When the passenger traffic is busy, ten carriages are left with four sections when they are not busy. Every time it stops, it has to avoid passing cars, and it will be late. It may be embarrassed to say that it has no sleeper here.
Anyway, in my spare time, when I need waves and pretend to be comfortable, I still take this train in a leisurely way, especially at the junction of summer and autumn. Looking out the window, I will soon reach into the window. I am fascinated by the scenery. Looking at the dark green trees surrounding the carriage, I suddenly turn a corner. At the beginning of autumn leaves, the horizon in Huang Shi is gradually mottled, and the window slowly penetrates in the setting sun. In an instant, it will be wrong. It seems that this train has just taken us through the season and headed for emptiness or eternity.
It’s a pity that it’s a deep winter, except that snow blindness is buried by snow when the sun rises, and smoke rises in half of the village. There are no lanterns in front of the door, and there is no glacier on the top of the mountain, so there is really no scenery to be obsessed with.
Besides, the sunshine in that winter was not bright and abrupt, and as soon as it got into the clouds, it never came again, and the clouds were pressed low and never stopped. The north wind was mixed with snow, and the snow seemed to be tired for a winter.
I remember when I was young, a boarding school was far away and remote. I went home every two weeks, and it was this train. But at that time, it was even more dilapidated, and I didn’t even have the heating. In my memory, I always rushed to work two hours away. In winter, the windows were sealed with thick frost. When people spoke, they could see their mouths breathing. I staggered on the table and stamped my feet while writing. If my mouth was not cold, I would write more crooked words.
In summer, the carriage is particularly sultry, and the overhead is a row of fans, whose rotating speed is too slow, squeaking and ringing, which always makes people worry that it will fall off, so people push the heavy window to the wind and hit it. I still bow my head and write, and the fine sweat on my forehead is slowly blown dry by the wind, and a taxi company is flying around in the carriage by the wind. I chased it over and picked it up, and some people’s feet were stained with mud, but I felt that there was no hand to wipe it, and I continued to write.
I often fall asleep in the carriage, and writing is always boring. If I am not careful, I will fall down on the table and wake up, my hands and feet will be numb. At some point, I will be in a daze and I will not know if I am still there. I overslept later, but I can’t find my mouth. The little pine tree has to hurry to find a kiosk to call the teacher and tell him that I have missed this day. A train will take me back to school in a few days. Teachers usually don’t believe it, so it will be difficult to punish me.
Later, in order to prevent oversleeping from happening again, I stopped rewriting my diary by solving math problems or doing reading, analyzing and copying words on the train. At that time, my diary was also a career, but there was really nothing to write. So I made up all kinds of bizarre things, and even when I met a thief on the train or bought tea eggs, I saw which star caught fire at home, and my distant relatives died, and then I lived a ridiculous lie. These teachers didn’t believe it when they saw it clearly, but they had to lecture me on being unrealistic. However, if these new stories could drive me away from sleep, I would still remember it so hard until
A few days ago, I passed by by car and thought about going to see the school in the local area, but I didn’t know what I was worried about or worried about. After all, I gave up the idea. It was after the train turned around or the small fence in the small room. Even the small pine tree didn’t seem to grow up, but it may be because the school was declining. This one is no longer bustling in the past. It seems that the moment when I saw a few blue school students making a scene at NTU seems to have gone back. I vaguely saw myself on the platform, staring at the train and rumbling in the direction. That small head and my clothes broke down, and
It was noon after I got on the train, and I ate a bowl of beef noodles. I said that the bus leading to the town could be found in the front square, but there was not much left in the front square except for people rushing over plastic bags. Actually, I asked the shopkeeper about the middle-aged curly-haired man who told me that I needed to take a long-distance passenger transport. I asked if it was far away. He said, let’s take a taxi.
The car rental driver is a woman wearing a red coat, which makes people irritable. Besides, her car still smells of gas. I really think it will explode before long. She likes to chat and ask questions. I answer at random and worry that she will give me a long way around. I am even more annoyed and angry that the gas smell in your car is too strong.
Is she surprised? Why can’t I smell it? Then I explained that I just changed my car to gas power recently and said a lot of words about saving money. I can listen to the hardships of life. I felt a little guilty about myself just now, so I tried to calm my emotions and thought that I would admit it even if I took a long detour.
The road is still a long way, and the bus is almost in the city. The passenger suddenly broke into sight at a corner. I paid her a lot of money, and she asked me if I wanted an invoice. I said forget it and forget the train. Just now, a group of people with mood changes are always puzzling.
The passenger hall is spacious and spacious, and the glass window reflects the light at 2: 30 in the afternoon. Except for the passengers with less than ten workers, I bought the ticket at the ticket window without waiting, so I went to the border car. A little surprise was that it was not a common passenger bus, but a passenger car with 17 people. It was clean and comfortable. I found a separate seat to sit in, so I could adjust the back of the chair to a comfortable angle and the door was not cold.
Seats are filled with couples talking in novels one after another. A single man is fiddling with his mobile phone. A bloated middle-aged woman quickly goes to sleep. The driver’s master smokes the last cigarette outside and climbs the car to start the door. The journey is coming.
I think of a song by Cao Fang, and I don’t know what the title is every time I take a bus. I remember one of the lyrics, and the road is wider than the sky, so I will hum this sentence several times every time, as if the road is really vast, and I will think abstractly that the sky is covered with roads like gray belts.
Up to now, I haven’t searched this song, and it can’t show its face in my heart, so I won’t despise it one day. This rule is that everyone gets along very similar, and the land in a corner of a city feels similar, but it can’t be too familiar, it can’t be mysterious, it can’t be seen at a glance, it can’t be bottomless, and it can’t be bored, innovative and abandoned.
We hate our native lovers at some point.
The car just kept going, and it became more and more difficult to walk, which jolted the speaker’s words and woke up the sleeper’s dream. The sunset was left behind the car and watched us drive all the way to the desert.
The car climbed a mountain, and you can see that the train transporting wood in the valley passed by and entered a depression, which was almost buried by weeds. At last, the car drove to the flat ground, but the rocks on both sides squeezed over. They soared into the sky and left a gap in the sky. In the winter dusk, I heard the birds singing and did not fly to the south for the winter.
I feel a sense of loss that is close to loss.
I asked the driver how long it would take for the master to get dark. It was neither timely nor timely. When I looked back, I needed to wait quietly if I wanted to put out the lonely sunshine.
If we compare many small things in life, is waiting an event gesture or not, but it can rank among the top three disgusting things. I seem to be always anxious to treat people and things, even myself, but I really don’t know what I am anxious about.
I used to make a name for myself, and the most thing I did was to wait for myself. When I realized that I was waiting for this ceremony, the fire was poured into the stove with a glass of strong liquor, and I was very angry. Later, I summed up a little bit about the origin of this fire. I felt that waiting was a wave of life
One winter, a friend’s car snowed heavily, but the car broke down on the side of the road. The place was too remote, and the cell phone signal was aimless and there was no village. The only thing we could do was wait.
Sometimes we laughed, smoked cigarettes and talked about life waiting for passing cars. After a while, we stopped talking, thinking about our own thoughts, watching the snow fall slowly, and it seemed to feel quiet. Later, the bottle was gone, the car was cold, and a little arrival was able to watch the fear and depict our body, followed by hunger, irritability and chest anger. After a while, we unexpectedly calmed down. We looked at each other without saying anything or complaining. Waiting at that moment seemed to sublimate our minds. It was a big deal. That’s it. It’s all fate or thinking about it. What else can I do? I will never die. There will always be cars passing by. When one can’t die, the rest will be seen.
Later, headlights flashed behind the car, and we were saved. That is, from then on, I no longer seemed to hate waiting, and I no longer feared waiting. After what I experienced, I could understand that waiting was less than it, and I no longer felt that waiting was a wave of life. On the contrary, I felt that it gave me a process of reflection and a small stove to put my life on the surface and slowly boil it to see if I could cook another taste, even if it was not a fragrance, even if it was not very good.
It was dark when the car turned a corner and the afterglow was covered by the mountain, but suddenly a wild windmill came and blew crooked, which could obviously feel the driver clenching the steering wheel.
He was obviously surprised to touch a cigarette after the car was running safely. When the passengers saw him smoking, they also took out the cigarette in their pockets, but they still didn’t dare to light it directly, so they asked the master if he could smoke a cigarette.
The car is non-smoking, so the no-smoking sign is still new.
Go ahead, go ahead, the driver said grumpily. This bad temper is not for passengers, but for yourself. One fucking day, this fucking thing will stop complaining. It seems that it has not recovered from panic.
No one speaks. Drivers should be used to loneliness.